30th May 1979

I have just sat procrastinating at my screen for about an hour wondering what I could start to do to resurrect my right brain creative thinking. Something a little structured (as I'm not that creative) to server as the beginning of something new and hopefully interesting and take me on new and exciting journeys (of the mind mostly). I went through a few options in my head. I won't bore you with the details yet but they ranged from being "more of the same" or "beyond my abilities/laziness".

So, the idea I've hit upon is to take a leaf out of JJ Abrams book (well, film) and do an intelligent reboot. Not this time of a already successful long running science fiction franchise but instead of my entire life. Now, this might sound a little drastic and I'm exaggerating a little.

Internal monologue: Hurry up, they're getting bored!

I was born on 30th May 1979 so my plan is to write each blog on each day of my life so far looking at what happened on each day. I'll simply Google for the date and see what things come up in the first hit. Then I'll write some stuff and see where this takes me. Sounds like a plan. Off we go...

HistoryOrb.com tells me that on this day Nottingham Forest won the 24th Europe Cup 1 at Munich. Not being a football fan in the slightest this is not the greatest of starts to this new endeavour but I shall avoid at least making any silly comments about how is it possible for a forest to win anything, oops. Bizarrely this is my third connection to Munich in a week.

A Keyword Rich Poem

I just thought of a little rhyme about SEO...

SEO, SEO
I need to make this passage flow
Keyword rich it must be
And also stay SEO friendly

With plenty of links
And copy that don't stinks
I must continue to show
I know lots about SEO

Use hidden text you insist?
Now you're on the blacklist!
What's rule #1 you should know?
To not stop writing about SEO?

Oh no. Not another blog about…

…geocaching.

Yes, I've just started a new ongoing blog about my geocaching experiences (mostly in the UK).

M40 Traffic

I drive on pretty much only one road every day. That road is the M40 so most traffic websites are overkill for me. This one focuses on M40 traffic alone. Nice and simple.

Homework for 4 Year Olds

My 4 year old daughter has just started school and today I was looking for a simple online tool to help her with her homework (yes, homework!).

I wanted a simple random generator of letters, numbers and "high frequency words". I couldn't easily find anything that really fitted the bill. So, I make the impulse decision to buy a domain and set something up myself. An hour or so later with the help of Weebly I had something done, et voilà…

• Random letter generator
• Random number generator (0-9)
• Random number generator (0-100)
• Random high frequency word generator

Perhaps these might prove useful to other too?

Don't think I agree with this but...

...it is brilliant and made me laugh.

Bizarre Dream About National Trust Property Visit

Last night I had a very odd and vivid dream about a visit to a National Trust property. I'm not sure if the National Trust property in the dream actually exists (I suspect not) but here's how the dream unfolded.

The National Trust property in question was a small cottage like place. Very nice quaint kitchen garden (a bit like Greys Court's). On leaving the property we then saw in the distant a massive monument which was probably about 30 times bigger than, ummmmm, Buckingham Palace. The whole structure was made of marble and it was raining!

Anyway our group set out to climb to the top which after a few near fatal falls we all managed to do. We were sensible enough to leave the children at the bottom in the play area. The views were amazing from the top but it was a little bit slippy - scary!

Anyway, the best bit was that at the top we discovered the monument had a slide all the way down to the bottom. We peered down the slide and because it was mirrored we could see and talk to the children at the bottom in their play area. We were warned by my daughter that the bottom of the slide was very wet so we slid down on our coats. This was very wise as we had to swim out of the bottom bit.

Then my dream ended abruptly (like they normally do).

Was I dreaming about a real National Trust property (I guess not) or do I just need help? Perhaps I'm just suffering withdrawal symptoms as I haven't used my membership for a good few weeks now.

How Derren Brown "Predicted" The Lottery Results - My Guess (Updated)

Well, for the record this is how I think Derren Brown "predicted" the lottery results last night...

Identical sets and a body double?

I think there were 3 identical studio sets. The first section of the show was filmed on set one with Derren and was live. The middle point (where Derren moves to the right of the screen) was a quick cut (very smartly done) to a body double on set 2 watching the results. This gives the real Derren enough time to record the end section of the show on set 3. This end section is then cut to (again very cleverly). I think this last cut happens some time around when the TV is turned off but I'm not sure.

In fact I'm not sure about any of this but it's my best guess.

UPDATE: After thinking on this some more I realise that it's probably feasible to do this with just 2 identical sets as at the first switch the first set could be re-used. Also wondering whether this method could be achieved with mirrors and multiple sets instead of a camera cut.

Comedy Letter from Scottish Power

I thought I'd share this letter I received from Scottish Power today.

I've recently decided to switch from Scottish Power to EDF Energy (to save a little money). Today I received the letter below to tell me that the switch could not proceed until my outstanding balance had been cleared. Fair enough? Well, yes you'd think so, but take a look at the letter in detail (click on the image for a large version) and you'll see where the issue lies.


So, what do you think I should do?

1. Nothing.
2. Call them and try to pay them £0.00 via my debit card. That could be a fun conversation.
3. Send a cheque for the value of £0.00. I prefer the idea of trying to get a postal order for £0.00. Do people still use those?
4. Go to a PayPoint location / Post Office and insist that I want to pay them £0.00.

One of those 4 options is the sensible option and the other 3 could be quite fun for somebody with time on their hands. Any volunteers?

Who Do You Think You Are? Nobody? Don't Care Then!

I was flicking through our BT Vision V-box™ with my wife the other day looking for something previously recorded to watch (like there's nothing else to do). I was struck by the reaction I got when I suggested we watch Kim Katrell's episode of Who Do You Think You Are?

"I don't know who she is so I'm not really interested in watching that one."

Now, is this not a slightly odd response considering the programme has nothing really to do with what the "celebrity" in question actually does/represents? Why should one be more compelled to watch an hour on the family history of somebody famous instead of say Bob from down the road? Very curious human behaviour. There's absolutely no reason why a famous person's family history sould be more interesting. Is there?

Perhaps I should start a campaign to get the BBC to run the next series on "nobodies" but the problem with that is it would probably become a series on "wannabees".

Hmmm, is this blog becoming a Spice Girls song? Sorry, better stop.

Duplo WALL-E

Duplo WALL-E
Originally uploaded by MCEC Productions

Just thought I'd share with the world me and my daughter's little attempt at making a WALL-E out of Duplo. We're quite proud but should we be?

Keys - Lost Forever!?!

As we reach the end of 2008 I thought I'd share with you all a dreadful 10 minute experience that I suffered back in the summer. The following series of events took place at the wonderful Farmer Palmer's Farm Park in Dorset. There's a lesson to be learnt here…

After going on their tractor trailer ride (new tractor since our last visit - price has doubled to a pound - hard times!) we got off for me to discover to my horror that I no longer had my keys in my pocket. The feeling of initial amusement quickly changed to sheer terror and dread as I began to think "how the hell am I going to do, well, anything!".

So, my 2 year old daughter and wife went off to stroke some Guinea Pigs and I went running back to the tractor. I inspect the tractor - no keys - dread changes to panic. I go off on a quest around the whole of the tractor "course" with my eyes peeled. Panic changes to depression as I see all the massive muddy puddles about 2 feet deep and think to myself, "Why? Why? Why was I so lazy? Why didn't I put them all in my wife's bag? Why do I carry all my keys around with me - even the one for the garden shed at home?".

I arrive back at the tractor sans keys. My shoes are wet through. My new jeans are covered in mud. My face is long. I go back to the tractor for one last hopeful inspection - fingers crossed. And then, what do I see. I see a glint from a dark corner of the trailer as the sun rebounds off a metallic object (not quite true - there was no sun!). I approach with hope but pessimism and as I get closer it becomes clear that they ARE keys. They're really close and I begin to think, "What if there some other idiot's?". I finally get to them and inspect them. They are mine. Depression turns to relief and then to euphoria.

I walk back to meet my wife but I am greeted by a woman with an ice cream. She says, "Bet your relieved dear?". She's been watching all along. "Thanks for the help!" I think but I'm not that bothered I'm buzzing with too much adrenalin to be bothered. I agree with the lady and walk back to meet my wife, daughter and a furry animal.

So what lesson can we all learn from this kiddies?

Amazon Packaging

Why oh why Amazon did you decide to send me a Tomy Aqua Draw Deluxe in such an unecessarily oversized box?


Normally, you're so good. Must've been a minor glitch in the matrix. I hope.

Duck Obesity - Here it Comes!

I have just returned from my regular weekend walk around to the village pond with family to feed the ducks. It is normally a pleasant experience. We have two village ponds and plenty of ducks. However, today was a bit of an exception.

Whilst we were happily there throwing our carefully torn off bits of bread into pond #2 (the nicer one) we were witness to what I can only describe as a drive-by feeding incident.

A car pulled up by the pond and out stepped a woman with bag containing a whole loaf of sliced bread. In less than a minute she had thrown the entire contents of the bag into and around the pond. Great! 20 whole slices of bread for ducks to fight over. Within 2 minutes the car and woman were gone.

Doesn't this take all the fun out of the experience that is feeding the ducks? Not to mention the damage it does. I believe any bread not eaten by the ducks will sink to the bottom of the pond and form a polluting sludge.

Whinge over.

Dyson & iPhone Incompatability

I am the proud owner of an iPhone. I also own a Dyson vaccum cleaner (hey - I'm a proud owner of that too). I've recently come across an amusing incompatability with these two items.

Whilst merrily vacuuming away over the last couple of months I had found that all of a sudden my Dyson would stop working - it would simply turn off. I have now discovered that this is due to the weighty nature of the iPhone and the specific height of the dyson power switch. Oh, and of course the fact that I keep the phone in my left pocket and I'm quite short. Basically every now and again the weight of the phone is enough to push the power switch down.

Has anybody else experienced similar or is this as I suspect just me?

Right of Way

Perhaps somebody can help me out here? I'm a little unclear to myself who has the right of way in the following circumstance.

Two cars arrive at junctions with the same main road. They are almost opposite each other but it's not a crossroad as they're slightly offset from each other. One car is turning left onto the main road (not having the cross the road). The other car is turning right (having to cross the road). My gut feeling is that the car turning left has the right of way as they don't cross the road. Is this correct?

Too Literally?

Hmmmm, looks like somebody took my last post a little too seriously:

Or, perhaps it was just hit by a very heavy football?

Observations from a Window

So, here I am sitting at my desk looking out onto a gloomy last day of 2007. It's been a good year for me though there's plenty about this world I still don't understand. For instance, as I gaze aimlessly into my residential car park I spot the "No dog fouling" sticker that adorns a solitary lamppost creaking in the wind. Now, I don't have a problem with this being here but I do question why the sticker is placed about 1.5 metres up the pole. Now, I know dogs come in all shapes and sizes but I've never met one that tall. The only one that springs to mind was Digby and to the best of my knowledge he was fictional. Even if he wasn't I doubt he'd notice the sign either. How can we expect our village streets to remain clean if we're failing at the first hurdle to get the message out to the relevant audience. Anybody fancy starting a campaign to get stickers places at dog's eye level. No? Me neither.